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Sunday, November 09, 2008

God Take This Child...

A good friend of mine who has gone through the same experience, gave me this poem. She had framed it in a black frame. The words so closely resemble my feelings that I thought I would post it for you to read.
God, Take This Child....
By Nancy Scott

Sweet child whom we never really got to know,
It’s hard for us to let you go.
We waited and we wanted you.
We had so many dreams for you.

We think of smiles we'll never see.
We think of events that will never be.
There will be no first steps and no first teeth.
There is only a void and our own grief.

We planned to take you to places far and near.
We yearned to keep you safe and free from fear.
We hoped to show you much of your new world.
We wanted to teach you as your life unfurled.

It’s hard to understand why you, our baby, died.
We feel so numb right now, many tears we’ve cried.
We have so many questions and no answers seem to come.
We tried so hard to save you; nothing could be done.

God, we stand before you broken-hearted
and ask you to heal these lives that must be parted
from this little one we can no longer hold,
who will always be a part of us, even when we're old.

God, take this child in your loving arms.
No more can he suffer any harm.
Bless him always and bless us too.
Be with us and help us to make it through.

Friday, November 07, 2008

What a Day That Will Be!

Dee, in response to your question regarding the quilt: "...what were you thinking and feeling as you pieced this together?" Answer: a myriad of feelings. I shed many tears, my hands trembled more than once (so don't expect the corners to be perfect like yours :o), but mostly I wondered about my little one and what heaven must be like. I don't know if I will use this quilt for anything or just fold it up for later.

I also pondered this great wonder: My little one was taken from me. But what incredible mercy and grace our Father showed toward us when he willingly gave his ONLY Son to us when He knew we would reject and murder him. I shed tears even now as write this. The grief and sorrow I feel over a little one that I have never seen or held cannot be compared to the great love our Father showed us by sending His Son to earth and ultimately to His death. And to think, He sent His Son for us, for me. Before I even knew Him, His blood was already there to cover my sins if I only trusted in its cleansing power. Losing one of my own has made me realize how much of a sacrifice it would be to willingly give up a son. Of course, we all hear it, Sunday after Sunday, but it is when you experience it yourself that you realize "hey, this hurts!" I received a message from a friend today and I will quote her "Lean hard on Him. God can use this to make you a more beautiful person on the inside. It is the difficult places that make us more like Christ."
Last night was the toughest night so far. Seems like the evenings is when I get so emotional. My hubby is a wonderful teddy bear. He doesn't mind me getting tears all over him.
Today was my first day back on the job. I received a delivery of fall flowers this afternoon, along with this message. Such a wonderful husband and the perfect man for me.


Thursday, November 06, 2008

Quilt Therapy

I had this all cut out and ready to be put together for our little one. The green really isn't as dark as it shows in this picture. It is more of an light olive green. What appears almost creamy is actually yellow. Anyway, I decided (after encouragment from my mom) that I should go ahead and put it together. So that is what I did this afternoon.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

A Sad Day

Today was a tough day for me. Early this morning I miscarried our little one. Thanks to all of you that commented on our previous post. I deleted it. It was kinda hard to see it on there. Someday Jay and I will get to meet our little one in heaven.

Beautiful flowers from my parents. Thanks Mom and Dad! If you look really close you can see the top of my white "i voted" sticker on my shirt. Too bad it was in vain! (Notice I have my quilts all around me. I love being able to use them instead of them just sitting on the quilt rack.)

Monday, November 03, 2008

The Perfect Man for Me

Many of you know that I work full time about an hour away from our home. This 2 hour daily round trip can get very tiring for me, but God has certainly blessed me with Jasper, a 1998 Ford Escort with 154k+ miles. I bought it in 2005 for $1900 and to date, I have only put brakes, tires, a muffler thingie and routine maintenance into the car. Granted, it has more dents, dings and rust than most demolition derby cars but it gets me where I need to go. That little background brings me to tonight's topic.

While I am driving Jasper to/from work and working away during the day, my hubby is back in our little town, running around visiting church folks, organizing ministries, grocery shopping, driving county school buses on a part time basis, preparing for Sunday morning's message, going over his notes for the Wednesday night Apologetic study (very interesting!), creating a children's sermon to give to the kids on Sunday morning, trying to get a hot water heater installed in the church (don't ask!), fixing a hole in our kitchen wall from the plumbing incident, buying cranberry apple juice for me, practicing for his special song on Sunday, typing up the bulletin, choosing the songs for worship and making sure the musicians (me and the piano player) have copies, buying the milk and breakfast items for the sunday school goers, and on and on the list goes - but those are just his 'ministry' duties.

When I arrived home tonight, I was tired, had a tummy ache (surprise, surprise), and was just downright feeling blah. I walked into the kitchen and I realized God has blessed me with the most wonderful, caring man. Ribs were boiling in a large pot, and real potatoes were in the crockpot waiting to be mashed. Not only does he help out with the cooking, he helps with the laundry, empties the dishwasher when I start it on my way out the door, gets me juice when I decide right before bedtime that I am thirsty and I don't feel like going downstairs to get it, and rubs my back and feet as if it is his privilege to care for me. The list definitely does not stop there, but I think you get the idea. Thank you God for the perfect man for me!
This is Jay in his Halloween costume. I will post more pics of the Chili supper at church where we all dressed up, but I thought I would include this one in this particular post.